I'm confused about drinking

Are we all drinking too much, or is it a bad thing that we're drinking less?

I think I'll have a beer and contemplate the mixed messages.

Unlazy Quote

"Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others."
- Jules Renard

Let's cut right to the chase. Jules Renard is fuckhead and is wrong. First, he's French, so he can't be trusted right then and there. Second, he knows nothing about the powers of being lazy. If you don't try, you can't fail, so he's wrong right off the bat. If I try to build a Lamborghini Countach in my basement and fail I'm a broke loser who waste a shitload of time and money. If I just sit on the couch and drink a beer I'm richer, more rested, and I don't have a hole in my basemet wall. I just read a blog about the moron who did it and wonder...How's he gonna get that thing legally registered to drive and why does my fruit cup contain so much liquid and so little fruit?

Second, and most importantly lazy people aren't punished by the sucess of others. Lazy people rely on other people's success to survive. We're mooches. You work and make money and we try to exploit that and make money without leaving our couches.

Hell, the entire concept of investments and the stock market is built off of this concept. Lazy people take their money, buy other people's success and then make money by basically betting on that same person continuing to be successful. It's great. Most of the time. Until those idiots fail. If those damn bankers wouldn't have tried so much, they wouldn't have failed so bad and we all wouldn't be wondering how money can disappear so fast.

And no, lazy people didn't bring down the economy, greedy people and poor people did.

Advice for Science Fiction TV Show Writers!

Save yourselves a shit load of effort by not introducing time travel as part of the storyline.

Not only will it be easier for you to remember what's happening but your storylines might have a vague chance of being coherent rather than nonsensical and annoying.

I'm looking at you Tim Kring.

I do like the idea of keeping us on our toes about who is actually a hero or a villain though. Damn you!

First Class

UK train users will be familiar with our ridiculous system of train fares that mean you journeys where you rock up and buy your ticket on the day are very expensive, but journeys where you book in advance can be ridiculously cheap, as long as you get one of the cheap tickets before they sell out.

What you might not know is that sometimes the first class advance fares can be the same price as the standard open return fare. So if you miss out on the cheap tickets in standard class, why not just book yourself into first class for the same price? Massive seats, loads of room, no oiks (other than you). No fighting your way through crowds of people all standing down the train only to find out someone's sitting in your pre-booked seat already and you have to ask them to move. It's brilliant. Free tea and coffee on lots of services too. 

On the downside any non-first class journey after that is totally shit.

We're going to Bristol at the weekend, First Class, and I'm actually looking forward to the journey for once. 

I did one of the least lazy things possible

I got engaged. Thus creating a massive amount of organisation and work. D'oh. 

Break out the driver

Look, morons. Are you one of those people constantly driving down the road with 400 yards of open space in front of you? You're tooling down the road like an old man post prostate surgery as you say to yourself "Hmmm, traffic isn't so bad this morning!". I've got news for you assholes. It's because you're the god damn traffic jam. You're the half-wit stacking up cars and forming the very beginnings of a rush hour traffic jam. I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable to get with 100 yards of another car but get the fuck out of the left lane, dickhead.

Where am I going with this? Well, some of you (both out there in the tubes of the internets and possibly even in an office downtown) may have noticed that a lot of things piss me off even more than usual when driving. What is it about driving that drives (ha ha! Puny pun pun pun!) me so crazy?

Well, here's the answer .... I'm lazy. I'm lazy and I'm not driving because it's fun. It's work. I'm driving because I'm going some place and your dumb ass is getting in my way. That place I'm going, the place you're stopping me from getting? That's where I want to be, not in my smelly car, looking at your retarded political and environmental bumper stickers, wondering how many times your parents dropped you on your head when you were a baby.

No you're probably not getting in my way intentionally, so maybe I could cut you some slack. Wrong, asshole. You're even worse that that. You're getting in my way because you're an idiot who can't follow the rules of the road and has his/her head jammed so far up their ass their spastic colon is clearly having an effect on driving ability. You're the same kind of idiot who blocks a drive thru because you don't know how to order and when you do, you order for 5 people and customize every detail of the order. The same kind of idiot who waits until the checkout person at the supermarket gives you your total before you even take out your checkbook. The same damn idiot who stops and stands in the middle of a hallway chatting on your cellphone.

Don't be an inconsiderate cock holster. Recognize where you are, what you need to do, and get the fuck out of everyone else's way.

It doesn't seem very lazy but...

Having read this article about homebrewing I'm thinking that it could be about time I actually did it. It's something I've thought about doing for ages, ever since we were at school and one of our friends made a load in his loft. It ranged from a very pleasant light ale to the virtually undrinkable but lethally strong concoction, and that was just from the same barrel at different times. 

The article makes it sound spectacularly easy, and actually pretty cheap to get started. 

Plus the home brew shop he mentions is only about half an hour down the road. Hmm... 

Cheap beer with virtually no effort? What could possibly go wrong?